Matusz, Make Me Some Money!

Brian Matusz, Orioles starting pitcher. Why is he significant? Because I own 70 of his eTopps cards.

So what? Well, If Matusz somehow strikes out 13 White Sox tonight, I'll make $15 per card, courtesy of Etopps. Thats $1,050 dollars, and all Matusz has to do is strikeout 13 Sox.

First and foremost, I realize I am sad human being for owning 70 cards of one player, let alone an Oriole. I also realize that he has never struck out more than 8 guys and he's pitching against the AL Central leading White Sox. So what if his ERA is over 5 and he's gone less than 4 innings in 4 of his last six starts? I am an optimist.

I'm gonna win some money, damnit. I mean lets be honest, Matusz throwing 13 strikeouts is more likely than all of the following:

• Me winning the lottery
• Brett Favre deciding what he's going to do, and sticking with it
• Brian Matusz walking 13 guys tonight
• A cruise ship sinking tonight
• Justin Bieber getting a water bottle thrown at his head again
• The Orioles getting a game on ESPN
• The Yankees or Red Sox not getting a game on ESPN
• Hell freezing over
• Pigs falling from the sky
• Michael Jackson pulling a Tupac
• Tupac pulling a Michael Jackson

Thats a pretty lengthy list of things that are LESS likely to happen than Matusz striking out 13 White Sox. I've got my fingers crossed.