Showing posts with label Justin Beiber. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Justin Beiber. Show all posts

Monday, August 9, 2010

Matusz, Make Me Some Money!

Brian Matusz, Orioles starting pitcher. Why is he significant? Because I own 70 of his eTopps cards.



So what? Well, If Matusz somehow strikes out 13 White Sox tonight, I'll make $15 per card, courtesy of Etopps. Thats $1,050 dollars, and all Matusz has to do is strikeout 13 Sox.

First and foremost, I realize I am sad human being for owning 70 cards of one player, let alone an Oriole. I also realize that he has never struck out more than 8 guys and he's pitching against the AL Central leading White Sox. So what if his ERA is over 5 and he's gone less than 4 innings in 4 of his last six starts? I am an optimist.

I'm gonna win some money, damnit. I mean lets be honest, Matusz throwing 13 strikeouts is more likely than all of the following:

  • Me winning the lottery
  • Brett Favre deciding what he's going to do, and sticking with it
  • Brian Matusz walking 13 guys tonight
  • A cruise ship sinking tonight
  • Justin Bieber getting a water bottle thrown at his head again
  • The Orioles getting a game on ESPN
  • The Yankees or Red Sox not getting a game on ESPN
  • Hell freezing over
  • Pigs falling from the sky
  • Michael Jackson pulling a Tupac
  • Tupac pulling a Michael Jackson


Thats a pretty lengthy list of things that are LESS likely to happen than Matusz striking out 13 White Sox. I've got my fingers crossed.