Karma Killed The Kitten.. Or Worse...

So if you didn't know my favorite team is the Baltimore Orioles. I have an obsession with them that I dare anyone to try to match. All you have to do is step into my pumpkin-orange Orioles wonderland, AKA my bedroom, and you'll immediately drop what ever paltry argument you have claiming to be the world's biggest fan of (insert team here). I make Ben Affleck look like a Yankees fan, and George Steinbrenner look like the Red Sox boss. Anyway, I have come to the conclusion that during this blissful Orioles winning streak, something bad has to be happening in counter-balance this miracle winning streak. I'm convinced that there is no way whatever deity you believe in would let such a thing happen without counteracting it. There must be a debt paid by the world for the sin that is the Orioles winning a baseball game. Lets put it into perspective with this photo every male has seen and pondered:

Millions of dead kittens everyday, just to counter-act the typical males need to shake hands with mr. president. Now imagine the terrible things that have to happen to counter-act the terrible sin that is an Orioles winning streak. Lets break down the last 9 days:

August 3rd: Orioles win 6-3; 9 people killed at Connecticut beer distributor
August 4th: Orioles win 9-7; Man kills his infant because he want him to stop 'acting like a girl'
August 5th: Orioles win 5-4; Wyclef Jean decides to run for president of Haiti, poor Haiti
August 6th: Orioles win  2-1; Forest fires in Russia dump toxic fumes all over over Moscow, many dead
August 7th: Orioles lose 4-2; 4 year old saves infant who fell into swimming pool in Florida
August 8th: Orioles win 4-3; 2 U.S. marines die in Afghan bomb attack
August 9th: Orioles win 3-2; 2 convicted murderers escape prison and kill another couple
August 10th: Orioles win 14-8; 3 killed in a murder in Ohio
August 11th: Orioles win 3-1; Justin Bieber didn't get hit in the head by another water bottle. Sad times.

The Orioles need to stop winning for the sake of our country and the entire world, or better yet, the gods need to stop being so jealous. Although I suppose its possible this is all merely coincidence and god doesn't give a shit about the Orioles just like most everyone else.